Gone.

The City is dark at night - and there is little dusk or dawn, it merges into night from day almost instantly, the stars blazing their cryptic message above, the moon looking down in laughter at it.

It is always best not to look at what you pass in the city, in the streets - some things look back. Today, though, I violated that cardinal rule, and looked at a dead body, lying in the street, surrounded by a puddle of blood and guts, laughing up at the sky - and so I ran back to my home, to safety, trying not to hear the dark padding behind me, the slipping of feet upon viscera.

Gone.

...

Haven't posted anything for a while. Been putting stuff I've been writing on facebook. Beginning to write longer form stuff. Might be a book eventually - I can dream. Not in the world of Corporation, in a much ... weirder world, which people will probably call urban fantasy. Draws on a lot of creepypasta, especially 200 Phenomena in the City of Calgary, as I've been reading a lot of stuff like that lately. It's going quite well.

Also hallucinations. Ask me if you want to here about them.

This blog is probably fairly dead at this point, since I've moved my ranting and raving to facebook and actually talking to people (weird, eh?). So yeah. Might eventually put some new content up here, but probably not.

Healthy Decisions

Due partially to today (which was awesome), I've decided to admit a number of things to myself which I was refraining from fully acknowledging. I'm not going to say what they are, of course, though my policy on not lying in response to direct questions still stands; so it's an issue of knowing which question to ask. And no, "what have you decided to admit to yourself?" will not get you a list; it will result in a response along the lines of "Corporation is going to suck" or "I hate you."

That is all; you may now return to your regularly scheduled wasting of time on teh intarwebz.

Happiness

I finally have a working philosophy, or at least something close. It's also very simple, though the execution is deliciously complex and intricate.

1) Everyone should be free to do whatever they want to do.
2) Everyone should be truly happy.

Not the type of freedom which is derived from taking away others freedoms, of course, unless it makes those people happy to sacrifice their freedom. By truly happy, I mean actually happiness, not a type enforced by secret police and drugs in the water supply (but how easy that would be to put into place!). Nor do I mean a world in which happiness is redefined to be the normal state of mind - I do not intend to do this solely through linquistic hacks, though linquistic hacks would clearly play some role in the eventual creation of this world.

Beyond this, philosophy begins to apply. The issue is too complex to really think about as a whole - every example case brings with it its own set of exceptions and contradictions with the first law.

As a dystopia, I somewhat recommend The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect - it is an extremely good example of how something like this could go horribly wrong. There are also some short story examples of how it could (I believe that 365tomorrows has a few, though I don't remember their names). It is far easier to take these good intentions and go along a negative path, after all - and the road to hell is paved with good intentions (actually, frozen door-to-door salesmen and telemarketers, but good intentions is more poetic).

As to why my philosophy has moved in this direction, it should be fairly obvious.

Also, I must point out that I highly doubt my ability to accomplish this goal; if I am able to lay out even a basic structure for it, something capable of dealing with even a fraction of the potential cases which would be thrown at it, I will consider this to not be a failure, and that will make me happy - which is the point of this! If I'm happy with something which won't ever change the world, then there is no reason why everyone else shouldn't be happy with their lives, once someone eliminates the obvious issues with starvation, poverty, abuse, and homelessness.

Doublethink, of course; I only care about my happiness ; I care about the happiness of the world. Strange how altruism arises from self-interest, and stranger still that I am aware of this contradiction yet still support both sides of it. The mind I live in is quite fun to live in.

Corporation is coming along well, and I'm not especially stressed; life is interesting, and somewhat amusing. It makes me laugh, really. I'm still immortal, I think - and I define immortal as not accepting or understanding of mortality, so I probably have the worse end of the deal than most mortals.

Somewhat incomplete, but will not be fixed.

Reflecting the Mind

Having become a bit bored of working on world background for Corporation (and as I don't really have to stress over it until November), I've begun working on another setting. It's in the very early stages right now, and I honestly don't know what's going to happen with it, but it's interesting enough for me to want to know a bit of the history behind it (or decide what it is, really).

It's probably not going to come far enough to have much else done with it, but if it does it will almost certainly move in the direction of horror very, very quickly. It's a setting which lends itself to unexplainable events, and to normal people being caught up in them (no, it's not the real world). On the other hand, it might not be the most interesting setting - far, far simpler than Corporation is.

And, as a teaser, here's the first paragraph:

The closest you can get to the singularity – safely, at least – is about a kilometer away. It's pretty easy to see from there, but its effects are much less pronounced, and can easily be protected against. Nowadays, they even have viewing platforms, huge reinforced concrete structures, with plate-glass windows, bent slightly to magnify it, and external balconies, for those who want to feel its effects, and have the necessary insurance. Schools have trips to there; in some of the less enlightened parts of the world, cults have formed around it, and going to see it is an important rite of passage. Some people even go to see it for their honeymoon. People are silly things.

I would love to have any opinions from anyone who actually reads this, especially if you think it's worth continuing on (okay, I already have a few more paragraphs written - I'm interested in knowing if it's interesting to other people), or if you have any suggestions.

Crash and Statistics

I am tired, and Corporation is slowly devouring my mind. I have also been alone with my thoughts far too much lately, which is not exactly the best of states for my mind to be in. Thankfully, on Monday things will start happening again, which will hopefully result in me being more productive.

Current status/completion information:
- Corporation: background 10%, characters 5%, balance 0%, sociopathic squid creatures 20%.
- Artwork: major projects 5%, minor projects 20%, various sketches no-percent, style modifications minus-27%.
- Mental: sanity 34%, energy minus-6%, caffeine effectiveness 2%, happiness 30%, bitter edges 20%.
- Cats: purring 30%, snoring 10%, protecting the world from evil 20%, eating 20%, sleeping 20%, reinforcement of belief of superiority of feline-kind 25%.
- Clocks: telling time 10%, ticking far louder than the laws of physics allow 90%, not actually following anything connected to the universe 15%.
- Dreams: being creepy 20%, being overly realistic 40%, making no sense at all 100%.
- Trenchcoats: having pockets 33%, being warm 20%, catching the wind to cool down 50%, making shadows look dramatic 40%.
- Dwarf Fortress: violating the laws of physics with a rusty hammer 16%, making water by throwing ice at the ground 20%, being able to dig 90%, making algebra vomit look good 50%, nerdiness 100%.
- My computer: crashing 50%, working 20%, having too many fans 60%.
- My laptop: working 90%, arguing with the keyboard 20%, enabling wireless communication to the peoples of the world 10%, bursting into flame when presented with dwarf fortress 2%.
- Reading: utility 20%, amusement 90%, needing more books 100%.
- Smoothies: completion 0%.

I hope that you've enjoyed this collection of statistics, have gained valuable insight into my mind, and will now be bludgeoning yourself over the head with a blunt object in an attempt to forget all of this (or paying me to delete this post). Actually, what I really hope is for you to check out dwarf fortress, because I would like to get a bloodline game running (to increase nerdiness even more)*.

* If you do, I highly recommend reading the tutorials on the wiki; it makes the game much easier. And most of the stuff about how difficult it is is just exageration - it's fairly easy, if you embark on a map with trees, a river, and no aquifer. It gets even easier once you start optimizing your embark parties for whatever you think your goal will be (hint: not bringing an anvil lets you bring an obscene amount of food and booze - keeping the 1:2 ratio, something like something like 150 food and 300 booze, which will last quite a while)**. Really, the only way to have fun once you've gotten the hang of the game is to start modding, impose your own challenges, or embark on inhospitable maps - like a glacier, with a magma pipe (which begins a few levels too low to use to melt ice), in terrifying surroundings. So much fun***!

** If you want advice, ask. And if you don't want advice, make that clear before starting a conversation about it.

*** Actually, technically no. The fortress is going well - I've even managed to get some farmland going, though my lack of magma-safe screwpumps is a bit of an issue now that the fortress is fairly well established and can support crazy projects. Sure, I've lost 6 dwarves so far (current population: 34), but that's nothing compared to most other fortresses. Should have modded orcs in ... maybe I'll buff goblins up a bit, though I still haven't gotten a raiding party ... mumble ...

Now, to attempt to rectify my lack of smoothies ...

Booting

I'm writing this on my Eee, as I am inclined to do. It just booted to a usable desktop in about 30 seconds - a rather huge increase over its normal time of around a minute (but only 30 seconds to get to the shell), and my desktops time of 1-2 minutes to get to a usable desktop (though I haven't timed it recently, and it seems a lot slower than it used to).

I'm also not writing this in my normal operating system. Instead of Arch, I'm using xPUD, a unix based operating system which takes up about 55MB of space on my SSD. It boots quickly - which is its main selling point - and its very easy to install (I've still got Arch around, just not running, because this is much faster to get to a browser with).

It's not perfect by any means, but it does have many advantages, mostly boot time. It also doesn't store any data on the hard drive unless I tell it to - and hence is completely reset every time it boots. Not necessarily useful, but interesting.

I also installed a 2GB RAM chip in the Eee, upgrading from 512MB. A pretty big increase, as it now has as much as my desktop. Speed increase isn't hugely noticeable, but it feels a bit faster, and it should work better for some tasks now. Battery life isn't as good as it could be, still, so I think that my next upgrade will be a larger battery.

And, finally, Corporation is being run. I'm very happy about this.