I finally have a working philosophy, or at least something close. It's also very simple, though the execution is deliciously complex and intricate.
1) Everyone should be free to do whatever they want to do.
2) Everyone should be truly happy.
Not the type of freedom which is derived from taking away others freedoms, of course, unless it makes those people happy to sacrifice their freedom. By truly happy, I mean actually happiness, not a type enforced by secret police and drugs in the water supply (but how easy that would be to put into place!). Nor do I mean a world in which happiness is redefined to be the normal state of mind - I do not intend to do this solely through linquistic hacks, though linquistic hacks would clearly play some role in the eventual creation of this world.
Beyond this, philosophy begins to apply. The issue is too complex to really think about as a whole - every example case brings with it its own set of exceptions and contradictions with the first law.
As a dystopia, I somewhat recommend The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect - it is an extremely good example of how something like this could go horribly wrong. There are also some short story examples of how it could (I believe that 365tomorrows has a few, though I don't remember their names). It is far easier to take these good intentions and go along a negative path, after all - and the road to hell is paved with good intentions (actually, frozen door-to-door salesmen and telemarketers, but good intentions is more poetic).
As to why my philosophy has moved in this direction, it should be fairly obvious.
Also, I must point out that I highly doubt my ability to accomplish this goal; if I am able to lay out even a basic structure for it, something capable of dealing with even a fraction of the potential cases which would be thrown at it, I will consider this to not be a failure, and that will make me happy - which is the point of this! If I'm happy with something which won't ever change the world, then there is no reason why everyone else shouldn't be happy with their lives, once someone eliminates the obvious issues with starvation, poverty, abuse, and homelessness.
Doublethink, of course; I only care about my happiness ; I care about the happiness of the world. Strange how altruism arises from self-interest, and stranger still that I am aware of this contradiction yet still support both sides of it. The mind I live in is quite fun to live in.
Corporation is coming along well, and I'm not especially stressed; life is interesting, and somewhat amusing. It makes me laugh, really. I'm still immortal, I think - and I define immortal as not accepting or understanding of mortality, so I probably have the worse end of the deal than most mortals.
Somewhat incomplete, but will not be fixed.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
Reflecting the Mind
Having become a bit bored of working on world background for Corporation (and as I don't really have to stress over it until November), I've begun working on another setting. It's in the very early stages right now, and I honestly don't know what's going to happen with it, but it's interesting enough for me to want to know a bit of the history behind it (or decide what it is, really).
It's probably not going to come far enough to have much else done with it, but if it does it will almost certainly move in the direction of horror very, very quickly. It's a setting which lends itself to unexplainable events, and to normal people being caught up in them (no, it's not the real world). On the other hand, it might not be the most interesting setting - far, far simpler than Corporation is.
And, as a teaser, here's the first paragraph:
I would love to have any opinions from anyone who actually reads this, especially if you think it's worth continuing on (okay, I already have a few more paragraphs written - I'm interested in knowing if it's interesting to other people), or if you have any suggestions.
It's probably not going to come far enough to have much else done with it, but if it does it will almost certainly move in the direction of horror very, very quickly. It's a setting which lends itself to unexplainable events, and to normal people being caught up in them (no, it's not the real world). On the other hand, it might not be the most interesting setting - far, far simpler than Corporation is.
And, as a teaser, here's the first paragraph:
The closest you can get to the singularity – safely, at least – is about a kilometer away. It's pretty easy to see from there, but its effects are much less pronounced, and can easily be protected against. Nowadays, they even have viewing platforms, huge reinforced concrete structures, with plate-glass windows, bent slightly to magnify it, and external balconies, for those who want to feel its effects, and have the necessary insurance. Schools have trips to there; in some of the less enlightened parts of the world, cults have formed around it, and going to see it is an important rite of passage. Some people even go to see it for their honeymoon. People are silly things.
I would love to have any opinions from anyone who actually reads this, especially if you think it's worth continuing on (okay, I already have a few more paragraphs written - I'm interested in knowing if it's interesting to other people), or if you have any suggestions.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Crash and Statistics
I am tired, and Corporation is slowly devouring my mind. I have also been alone with my thoughts far too much lately, which is not exactly the best of states for my mind to be in. Thankfully, on Monday things will start happening again, which will hopefully result in me being more productive.
Current status/completion information:
- Corporation: background 10%, characters 5%, balance 0%, sociopathic squid creatures 20%.
- Artwork: major projects 5%, minor projects 20%, various sketches no-percent, style modifications minus-27%.
- Mental: sanity 34%, energy minus-6%, caffeine effectiveness 2%, happiness 30%, bitter edges 20%.
- Cats: purring 30%, snoring 10%, protecting the world from evil 20%, eating 20%, sleeping 20%, reinforcement of belief of superiority of feline-kind 25%.
- Clocks: telling time 10%, ticking far louder than the laws of physics allow 90%, not actually following anything connected to the universe 15%.
- Dreams: being creepy 20%, being overly realistic 40%, making no sense at all 100%.
- Trenchcoats: having pockets 33%, being warm 20%, catching the wind to cool down 50%, making shadows look dramatic 40%.
- Dwarf Fortress: violating the laws of physics with a rusty hammer 16%, making water by throwing ice at the ground 20%, being able to dig 90%, making algebra vomit look good 50%, nerdiness 100%.
- My computer: crashing 50%, working 20%, having too many fans 60%.
- My laptop: working 90%, arguing with the keyboard 20%, enabling wireless communication to the peoples of the world 10%, bursting into flame when presented with dwarf fortress 2%.
- Reading: utility 20%, amusement 90%, needing more books 100%.
- Smoothies: completion 0%.
I hope that you've enjoyed this collection of statistics, have gained valuable insight into my mind, and will now be bludgeoning yourself over the head with a blunt object in an attempt to forget all of this (or paying me to delete this post). Actually, what I really hope is for you to check out dwarf fortress, because I would like to get a bloodline game running (to increase nerdiness even more)*.
* If you do, I highly recommend reading the tutorials on the wiki; it makes the game much easier. And most of the stuff about how difficult it is is just exageration - it's fairly easy, if you embark on a map with trees, a river, and no aquifer. It gets even easier once you start optimizing your embark parties for whatever you think your goal will be (hint: not bringing an anvil lets you bring an obscene amount of food and booze - keeping the 1:2 ratio, something like something like 150 food and 300 booze, which will last quite a while)**. Really, the only way to have fun once you've gotten the hang of the game is to start modding, impose your own challenges, or embark on inhospitable maps - like a glacier, with a magma pipe (which begins a few levels too low to use to melt ice), in terrifying surroundings. So much fun***!
** If you want advice, ask. And if you don't want advice, make that clear before starting a conversation about it.
*** Actually, technically no. The fortress is going well - I've even managed to get some farmland going, though my lack of magma-safe screwpumps is a bit of an issue now that the fortress is fairly well established and can support crazy projects. Sure, I've lost 6 dwarves so far (current population: 34), but that's nothing compared to most other fortresses. Should have modded orcs in ... maybe I'll buff goblins up a bit, though I still haven't gotten a raiding party ... mumble ...
Now, to attempt to rectify my lack of smoothies ...
Current status/completion information:
- Corporation: background 10%, characters 5%, balance 0%, sociopathic squid creatures 20%.
- Artwork: major projects 5%, minor projects 20%, various sketches no-percent, style modifications minus-27%.
- Mental: sanity 34%, energy minus-6%, caffeine effectiveness 2%, happiness 30%, bitter edges 20%.
- Cats: purring 30%, snoring 10%, protecting the world from evil 20%, eating 20%, sleeping 20%, reinforcement of belief of superiority of feline-kind 25%.
- Clocks: telling time 10%, ticking far louder than the laws of physics allow 90%, not actually following anything connected to the universe 15%.
- Dreams: being creepy 20%, being overly realistic 40%, making no sense at all 100%.
- Trenchcoats: having pockets 33%, being warm 20%, catching the wind to cool down 50%, making shadows look dramatic 40%.
- Dwarf Fortress: violating the laws of physics with a rusty hammer 16%, making water by throwing ice at the ground 20%, being able to dig 90%, making algebra vomit look good 50%, nerdiness 100%.
- My computer: crashing 50%, working 20%, having too many fans 60%.
- My laptop: working 90%, arguing with the keyboard 20%, enabling wireless communication to the peoples of the world 10%, bursting into flame when presented with dwarf fortress 2%.
- Reading: utility 20%, amusement 90%, needing more books 100%.
- Smoothies: completion 0%.
I hope that you've enjoyed this collection of statistics, have gained valuable insight into my mind, and will now be bludgeoning yourself over the head with a blunt object in an attempt to forget all of this (or paying me to delete this post). Actually, what I really hope is for you to check out dwarf fortress, because I would like to get a bloodline game running (to increase nerdiness even more)*.
* If you do, I highly recommend reading the tutorials on the wiki; it makes the game much easier. And most of the stuff about how difficult it is is just exageration - it's fairly easy, if you embark on a map with trees, a river, and no aquifer. It gets even easier once you start optimizing your embark parties for whatever you think your goal will be (hint: not bringing an anvil lets you bring an obscene amount of food and booze - keeping the 1:2 ratio, something like something like 150 food and 300 booze, which will last quite a while)**. Really, the only way to have fun once you've gotten the hang of the game is to start modding, impose your own challenges, or embark on inhospitable maps - like a glacier, with a magma pipe (which begins a few levels too low to use to melt ice), in terrifying surroundings. So much fun***!
** If you want advice, ask. And if you don't want advice, make that clear before starting a conversation about it.
*** Actually, technically no. The fortress is going well - I've even managed to get some farmland going, though my lack of magma-safe screwpumps is a bit of an issue now that the fortress is fairly well established and can support crazy projects. Sure, I've lost 6 dwarves so far (current population: 34), but that's nothing compared to most other fortresses. Should have modded orcs in ... maybe I'll buff goblins up a bit, though I still haven't gotten a raiding party ... mumble ...
Now, to attempt to rectify my lack of smoothies ...
Friday, June 19, 2009
Booting
I'm writing this on my Eee, as I am inclined to do. It just booted to a usable desktop in about 30 seconds - a rather huge increase over its normal time of around a minute (but only 30 seconds to get to the shell), and my desktops time of 1-2 minutes to get to a usable desktop (though I haven't timed it recently, and it seems a lot slower than it used to).
I'm also not writing this in my normal operating system. Instead of Arch, I'm using xPUD, a unix based operating system which takes up about 55MB of space on my SSD. It boots quickly - which is its main selling point - and its very easy to install (I've still got Arch around, just not running, because this is much faster to get to a browser with).
It's not perfect by any means, but it does have many advantages, mostly boot time. It also doesn't store any data on the hard drive unless I tell it to - and hence is completely reset every time it boots. Not necessarily useful, but interesting.
I also installed a 2GB RAM chip in the Eee, upgrading from 512MB. A pretty big increase, as it now has as much as my desktop. Speed increase isn't hugely noticeable, but it feels a bit faster, and it should work better for some tasks now. Battery life isn't as good as it could be, still, so I think that my next upgrade will be a larger battery.
And, finally, Corporation is being run. I'm very happy about this.
I'm also not writing this in my normal operating system. Instead of Arch, I'm using xPUD, a unix based operating system which takes up about 55MB of space on my SSD. It boots quickly - which is its main selling point - and its very easy to install (I've still got Arch around, just not running, because this is much faster to get to a browser with).
It's not perfect by any means, but it does have many advantages, mostly boot time. It also doesn't store any data on the hard drive unless I tell it to - and hence is completely reset every time it boots. Not necessarily useful, but interesting.
I also installed a 2GB RAM chip in the Eee, upgrading from 512MB. A pretty big increase, as it now has as much as my desktop. Speed increase isn't hugely noticeable, but it feels a bit faster, and it should work better for some tasks now. Battery life isn't as good as it could be, still, so I think that my next upgrade will be a larger battery.
And, finally, Corporation is being run. I'm very happy about this.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
A Lack of Inspiration
"Sanity is a bit like intellect: most people don't realize they possess it until they encounter someone who doesn't."
Other possible things: "... a bit like money", and "... a bit like knowledge". But they don't sound quite as good.
Anyways, on to the actual topic.
I am horribly unmotivated, and uninspired. That sentence is the only good thing I've been able to write in a while, the only thing which sounds good as well as having an interesting meaning. Its very, very irritating. I can't be productive, and when I try to write about a particular subject, I'm unable to. I can hardly write to amuse myself anymore (and, to be honest, most of my writings are just to amuse myself. I'm perfectly aware that they're horrible, but, like a poor artist who is happy simply because he has managed to do something, even though it pales in comparison to the works of others, I'm happy with them).
I'm also not drawing as much, outside of class. Sure, I'm able to come up with some interesting looking things during that, but they're all based on the same formula of vaguely fractal plant-looking things and filling in white space with complex patterns. I'm doing more fun stuff with materials, though, so that's fine.
I don't even do the work which I need to do. It's just lack of motivation, and even when I sit down and tell myself that I will get something done, I lose interesting very quickly.
I'm not entirely sure why this is the case. I have a variety of theories, though, and I've managed to correlate it to some of my subjective perceptions and records, coming to various conclusions. The basic one is that, when I'm rather happy with life, I'm unmotivated.
Maybe it's just that my lack of sleep has been catching up with me, destroying my creativity first.
Hopefully that's the case, as that means that I'll be able to be productive over the summer, which would be nice - there are plenty of things which I should work on.
Other things which are going on:
* My band-of-the-moment is Procol Harum, a British rock band formed in the 1960s. I listened to A Whiter Shade of Pale after rereading The Salmon of Doubt, and noticing that it's mentioned quite a few times, and Douglas Adams apparently thought that it was quite good. It is, and so I'm listening to more of their music. A Whiter Shade of Pale is their best-known song, apparently, and the previous occurance of the title is a link to last.fm, where you could listen to it if you cared. I sort of recommend them, though I have horrible taste in music, so your milage may vary.
* Building and messing around with motors is fun. The current pinacle of the art, for me, is a motor which, by only occasionally tapping against the magnets to complete the circuit, managed to run for at least 15 hours without completely depleting the battery or causing it to warm up, which is fairly impressive, compared to previous attempts (which resulted, twice, in the labels peeling off due to heat).
* I'll know if Corporation is going to be run fairly soon, hopefully - the deadline for submissions is coming up, and supposedly they'll be finalizing the schedule soon after. So yeah. I'm not actually that worried about it: either it will be run, which will be fun, or something better will be run, which will be more fun, with the added benefit of me not having to stress about it.
* My laptop continues to have some issues, though these are now self-inflicated software ones (there isn't enough space to upgrade the entire system). I'm considering doing various crazy things to try and get the space, including reinstalling arch (which I don't want to do). On the other hand, it works now ... probably a project for the summer.
* I've been vaguelly working on getting my Arduino to do more stuff, and have got it completely hooked into a breadboard. I should have gotten a prototyping sheild, but this works, so whatever. It's currently controlling a line of 5 LEDs (it would be 8, but I only have 5 at the moment), and not doing much other than making sure that all the wiring is fine. Not that interesting yet.
* I'm very tired, as I may have mentioned. I really, really need to start getting more sleep. Yes, it's ridiculous that I generally get into be by 10:30 and wake up at 7 and am still tired, and yes, I know that I probably get the most sleep of anyone I know and yet am one of the most tired, but that's the way it is.
That's basically the state of my life. Since you've read this far, I'm going to assume that you either care, are extremely bored, or need something to laugh at. If it's the first, you should actually talk to me instead, if it's the second I recommend 365tomorrows or huge portions of the internet, and if it's the third here's a joke:
Q: Why did the tourist fail to cross the road?
A: The road was the border between the USA and an Airport. The tourist had an accent, and the security people thought that it said terrorism instead of tourism. It was tackled by a number of large security guards, and its spine was broken in the process. It was removed from the premise in a body bag after being disassembled by a bomb squad just in case.
Welcome to my world. Everything is trying to kill you.
Other possible things: "... a bit like money", and "... a bit like knowledge". But they don't sound quite as good.
Anyways, on to the actual topic.
I am horribly unmotivated, and uninspired. That sentence is the only good thing I've been able to write in a while, the only thing which sounds good as well as having an interesting meaning. Its very, very irritating. I can't be productive, and when I try to write about a particular subject, I'm unable to. I can hardly write to amuse myself anymore (and, to be honest, most of my writings are just to amuse myself. I'm perfectly aware that they're horrible, but, like a poor artist who is happy simply because he has managed to do something, even though it pales in comparison to the works of others, I'm happy with them).
I'm also not drawing as much, outside of class. Sure, I'm able to come up with some interesting looking things during that, but they're all based on the same formula of vaguely fractal plant-looking things and filling in white space with complex patterns. I'm doing more fun stuff with materials, though, so that's fine.
I don't even do the work which I need to do. It's just lack of motivation, and even when I sit down and tell myself that I will get something done, I lose interesting very quickly.
I'm not entirely sure why this is the case. I have a variety of theories, though, and I've managed to correlate it to some of my subjective perceptions and records, coming to various conclusions. The basic one is that, when I'm rather happy with life, I'm unmotivated.
Maybe it's just that my lack of sleep has been catching up with me, destroying my creativity first.
Hopefully that's the case, as that means that I'll be able to be productive over the summer, which would be nice - there are plenty of things which I should work on.
Other things which are going on:
* My band-of-the-moment is Procol Harum, a British rock band formed in the 1960s. I listened to A Whiter Shade of Pale after rereading The Salmon of Doubt, and noticing that it's mentioned quite a few times, and Douglas Adams apparently thought that it was quite good. It is, and so I'm listening to more of their music. A Whiter Shade of Pale is their best-known song, apparently, and the previous occurance of the title is a link to last.fm, where you could listen to it if you cared. I sort of recommend them, though I have horrible taste in music, so your milage may vary.
* Building and messing around with motors is fun. The current pinacle of the art, for me, is a motor which, by only occasionally tapping against the magnets to complete the circuit, managed to run for at least 15 hours without completely depleting the battery or causing it to warm up, which is fairly impressive, compared to previous attempts (which resulted, twice, in the labels peeling off due to heat).
* I'll know if Corporation is going to be run fairly soon, hopefully - the deadline for submissions is coming up, and supposedly they'll be finalizing the schedule soon after. So yeah. I'm not actually that worried about it: either it will be run, which will be fun, or something better will be run, which will be more fun, with the added benefit of me not having to stress about it.
* My laptop continues to have some issues, though these are now self-inflicated software ones (there isn't enough space to upgrade the entire system). I'm considering doing various crazy things to try and get the space, including reinstalling arch (which I don't want to do). On the other hand, it works now ... probably a project for the summer.
* I've been vaguelly working on getting my Arduino to do more stuff, and have got it completely hooked into a breadboard. I should have gotten a prototyping sheild, but this works, so whatever. It's currently controlling a line of 5 LEDs (it would be 8, but I only have 5 at the moment), and not doing much other than making sure that all the wiring is fine. Not that interesting yet.
* I'm very tired, as I may have mentioned. I really, really need to start getting more sleep. Yes, it's ridiculous that I generally get into be by 10:30 and wake up at 7 and am still tired, and yes, I know that I probably get the most sleep of anyone I know and yet am one of the most tired, but that's the way it is.
That's basically the state of my life. Since you've read this far, I'm going to assume that you either care, are extremely bored, or need something to laugh at. If it's the first, you should actually talk to me instead, if it's the second I recommend 365tomorrows or huge portions of the internet, and if it's the third here's a joke:
Q: Why did the tourist fail to cross the road?
A: The road was the border between the USA and an Airport. The tourist had an accent, and the security people thought that it said terrorism instead of tourism. It was tackled by a number of large security guards, and its spine was broken in the process. It was removed from the premise in a body bag after being disassembled by a bomb squad just in case.
Welcome to my world. Everything is trying to kill you.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Opinions on Stuff
I am once again going to force my petty little opinions down your throats, or more accurately your minds. Although force isn't exactly the right word, it's the closest one I can think of, since you seem to still be reading this - and the gods know there isn't any reason for you to other than a sick, twisted desire to know what I'm thinking. Or maybe just to laugh at me, as I rant like a parrot in a cage filled with spikes.
(Yes, I'm in a bit of a bad mood, and fed up with this world. My head hurts too much to deal with it.)
(Yes, I'm in a bit of a bad mood, and fed up with this world. My head hurts too much to deal with it.)
In this short thing of opinions, things which you should watch because they are awesome. In no real order,
- Eden of the East
- Paranoia Agent
- Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
- Baccano!
- The Prisoner
- Get Smart (the original series)
The basic criteria for all of these is that 1) They are awesome, 2) They have had an effect on how my mind works, and 3) I did not lose interest in them even after they ended / I finished watching them. If that last one was not there, I would have also included Chaos;Head, Ghost Hound, and Spice+Wolf - which were all very good, but which I lost interest in before finishing, for various reasons (Chaos;Head just stopped interesting me, Ghost Hound and Spice+Wolf I had issues getting the latest episodes of and never got around to catching up on).
Now, I'm going back to watching the latest episode of Eden of the East. Don't break anything.
Now, I'm going back to watching the latest episode of Eden of the East. Don't break anything.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
My Brain Hurts
Today was a good day. It wasn't perfect, and it wasn't nearly as good as I was expecting, but it was okay. I finished reading Transmetropolitan (which was quite good), and basically just sat around and thought. Walking around in the aftermath of the rain is always amusing; the world looked new. I should have brought my camera with me, to take pictures of the plants, but I didn't. Life is full of those little regrets.
My head always hurts, now. I forgot how to use doorknobs for a second. I remembered quickly, though, and the door in the bathroom is pretty horrible. Walking into it would probably make it open. My brain has issues, to put it bluntly. Retrieving most memories or knowledge takes at least 30 seconds, if I'm not thinking of or considering it. I'm good at making up plausible stuff, though, and sometimes it's even true, so I don't think that most people notice.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm simply getting the backwash from someone else's mind, if somewhere out there there's someone who can do anything and feel perfectly fine (I do nothing, and feel horrible). If I ever find that person, I would kill them in the most painful way imaginable, except then I'd probably have to deal with my body rotting away.
As it is, I just have to blame lack of sleep, and a systematic program of messing around with my body, just not caring about all of the things I should be doing to keep it functioning. It still works, but not all the time, and I honestly can't see any benefits. Sure, having hair which forms little helices is rather fun, but is it worth feeling sick almost every morning and having trouble eating until I've been awake for at least an hour?
The two are probably completely unrelated. Spiraling hair is the only benefit I can think of.
Except my mind, perhaps: when it works it works very, very well. When it doesn't (which seems to include any time someone says that I'm intelligent) I get easily distractable, forget basic math, feel like falling over, or completely detach from conversation.
In general, when I say that I feel like falling over, I probably won't, unless I'm very tired. When I do fall over, chances are that it was arranged in a way so that I would not be hurt, especially if I feel off a chair. It is perfectly safe, and preferable, to ignore the event, and carry on conversation as if nothing had happened.
To clarify: I do not fall over because I want your attention. I fall over because I feel like it, and because floors are often more comfortable than chairs.
The third previous sentence is to be ignored if I verbally indicate that I am injured, or am bleeding or unconscious. In such a situation, it is appropriate to ask if I require assistance, or to inform me that I am injured if I have not noticed. If am am unconscious, it is recommended that you consult a doctor, but do not move me, as that can lead to complications of a minor issue. Pouring water on my face is acceptable, but only if slapping me thrice has failed to wake me.
I have laid out these rules because very few people seem to understand them, especially the bit about ignoring me falling over, and the bit about what to do
As I said, probably, I am extremely tired. I am also not entirely sure if this is reality, a dream, hallucination, or something else entirely. It would be appreciated if arguments as to the validity of those viewpoints is presented.
Acceptable arguments for this being a dream:
I hope that that has cleared the issue up slightly. Arguments may be sent to my email address, to me via facebook, told in person (as is required for some of them, although some are actually strengthened by being applied over some other communications medium), through smoke signals, telepathy, miraculous formation of wildflowers on my limbs or wall, or divine revelation.
Questions about the King of Walrus, and how to render tribute to him, may be directed by any of the stated methods, and by courier. Requests for diplomatic status should be sent to the Walrus Consulate, which you may locate in any reputable directory of psychologists.
Refusal to read this line constitutes a legally binding agreement to throw a paperback book at my head.
If you have failed to read the above line, please contact me. If you have succeeded in doing so, but refuse to do so again on principle, it still applies to you. Contact me in person at any suitable time, and I will provide the necessary devices.
This is your standard supply of hand-selected Markov Fragments:
Wake me when there's something interesting to say.
Actually, don't.
My head always hurts, now. I forgot how to use doorknobs for a second. I remembered quickly, though, and the door in the bathroom is pretty horrible. Walking into it would probably make it open. My brain has issues, to put it bluntly. Retrieving most memories or knowledge takes at least 30 seconds, if I'm not thinking of or considering it. I'm good at making up plausible stuff, though, and sometimes it's even true, so I don't think that most people notice.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm simply getting the backwash from someone else's mind, if somewhere out there there's someone who can do anything and feel perfectly fine (I do nothing, and feel horrible). If I ever find that person, I would kill them in the most painful way imaginable, except then I'd probably have to deal with my body rotting away.
As it is, I just have to blame lack of sleep, and a systematic program of messing around with my body, just not caring about all of the things I should be doing to keep it functioning. It still works, but not all the time, and I honestly can't see any benefits. Sure, having hair which forms little helices is rather fun, but is it worth feeling sick almost every morning and having trouble eating until I've been awake for at least an hour?
The two are probably completely unrelated. Spiraling hair is the only benefit I can think of.
Except my mind, perhaps: when it works it works very, very well. When it doesn't (which seems to include any time someone says that I'm intelligent) I get easily distractable, forget basic math, feel like falling over, or completely detach from conversation.
In general, when I say that I feel like falling over, I probably won't, unless I'm very tired. When I do fall over, chances are that it was arranged in a way so that I would not be hurt, especially if I feel off a chair. It is perfectly safe, and preferable, to ignore the event, and carry on conversation as if nothing had happened.
To clarify: I do not fall over because I want your attention. I fall over because I feel like it, and because floors are often more comfortable than chairs.
The third previous sentence is to be ignored if I verbally indicate that I am injured, or am bleeding or unconscious. In such a situation, it is appropriate to ask if I require assistance, or to inform me that I am injured if I have not noticed. If am am unconscious, it is recommended that you consult a doctor, but do not move me, as that can lead to complications of a minor issue. Pouring water on my face is acceptable, but only if slapping me thrice has failed to wake me.
I have laid out these rules because very few people seem to understand them, especially the bit about ignoring me falling over, and the bit about what to do
As I said, probably, I am extremely tired. I am also not entirely sure if this is reality, a dream, hallucination, or something else entirely. It would be appreciated if arguments as to the validity of those viewpoints is presented.
Acceptable arguments for this being a dream:
- Clear application of dream logic to a situation, such as travel, actions, or architecture.
- Transforming into something else, for no apparent reason (this is only considered valid in support of dream logic).
- Turning into spiders, or other insects, and attacking me.
- Turning into something nightmarish, and attacking me, while vomiting drugs or politicians.
- Presenting me with a supply of used drugs, and evidence that they were used on me (for example, needle tracks, or partially dissolved capsules in my stomach).
- Anything involving quantum mechanics.
- Anything involving Schroedinger.
- Anything involving the collapse of the false vacuum.
- Anything involving effecting reality with math.
- None.
I hope that that has cleared the issue up slightly. Arguments may be sent to my email address, to me via facebook, told in person (as is required for some of them, although some are actually strengthened by being applied over some other communications medium), through smoke signals, telepathy, miraculous formation of wildflowers on my limbs or wall, or divine revelation.
Questions about the King of Walrus, and how to render tribute to him, may be directed by any of the stated methods, and by courier. Requests for diplomatic status should be sent to the Walrus Consulate, which you may locate in any reputable directory of psychologists.
Refusal to read this line constitutes a legally binding agreement to throw a paperback book at my head.
If you have failed to read the above line, please contact me. If you have succeeded in doing so, but refuse to do so again on principle, it still applies to you. Contact me in person at any suitable time, and I will provide the necessary devices.
This is your standard supply of hand-selected Markov Fragments:
It feels like a furry chicken, tail wrapped neatly around its front paws.That's all.
He began to throw all propriety aside? How undignified!
Explanations will be essential for combat and shouldn’t try to kick the can down.
T`ien Tan also collected 20,000 ounces of silver.
Wake me when there's something interesting to say.
Actually, don't.